Why Relationships Require Learning
Why Relationships Require Learning
In order to make something work out well, you need to do some learning first. The same goes for relationships. Most people don’t even consider putting any effort into mastering the skill of family life. Some were lucky to inherit a couple of useful behaviour habits from their parents, but the rest have to figure everything out on their own. Fortunately, habits can always be changed.
The most dangerous misconception about love
There’s one false assumption that keeps spoiling relationships: if both of you love each other, then your couple is happy and flawless by default. You already have nothing more to improve; everything just happens by itself! And if something goes wrong, then there’s no love, and it’s time to part ways and start looking for someone better. But in fact, nothing happens by itself. Typically, “ideal relationships” last no more than 1-2 years, and then the harmony abruptly disappears.
A new approach to relationships
Time flies forward, and the 21st century dictates its own rules. Obviously, the old approach to relationships no longer works. You can throw everything old and useless out of your head and replace it with something new. Let’s do it right now:
– Take a simple life fact – nothing happens by itself! You need to learn to build a relationship step by step.
– Stop treating love with reverent fanaticism and look at it realistically.
– Treat your relationship like a business project.
Let’s take a closer look at each of these points.
Why is it impossible to let everything go by itself?
Relationships need to be built, just like houses. Try to put a pile of bricks in front of you and time how long it will take for a house to build itself. You’ll hardly see that happen.
About 50 years ago, everything was a bit different. Divorce was considered a shame. People had to learn to interact with each other in order not to break up. It wasn’t always successful, but nobody cared if someone was happy or not. Pretty lousy way to hold the family together, but now, couples don’t have anything like it or better because relationships are no longer valued.
Why do you need to take a sober look at love?
Infatuation is similar to magic. And love is the fruit of the joint work of two people on the path to common goals. Everything else – passion, feelings, desire, butterflies in the stomach – is cool and fun, but this is nothing compared to the emotions you can get from a competently built relationship. This doesn’t mean that you need to completely turn off your feelings and choose your one and only from those who meet your demands and expectations and nothing more. With the same success, you can just hook up with the first person you meet on some Ukrainian dating website.
Why is it important to treat your family as a business project?
This is not only about the financial component. It’s rather about recognizing the simple fact that your family is your private business. But for some reason, people approach business seriously, spending a lot of money on education. But creating families, they don’t even try to learn something new. The “family” project requires at least two people, and everyone wants to get benefits for themselves, such as affection, love, understanding, care, and support. This is all mutual benefit, just like in business.
Some couples even frown upon those who want to explore the issue of building relationships. They say that people willing to study their union in more detail don’t have their own opinion, so they listen to YouTubers and coaches who brainwash them. But if a person wants to learn to drive a car, they go to a driving school to a person with experience in driving. Why is it sometimes so difficult for people to ask advice from someone who has built a happy and harmonious family? A coach has already gone through all the ups and downs, and they’re ready to share the best of their experience with you.